You know exactly who I'm talking about.

The person with zero self-awareness who makes every conversation about them. The one who needs to control everything but contributes nothing. The colleague who shoots down every idea before you've finished explaining it. The stakeholder who demands endless detail then still won't commit.

You've tried everything. More patience. Better preparation. Clearer communication. Different approaches.

Nothing changes.

Here's the uncomfortable truth: difficult people are difficult. They create friction. They slow things down. They make work harder than it needs to be.

But here's what most people miss: being smart about working with them starts with understanding how they make decisions.

Not because it excuses their behavior. But because it gives you a map for navigating around the obstacles they create.

Why Smart, Capable People CanFind Each Other Impossible to Work With

Some professional relationships just flow. Ideas land. Decisions happen. Work moves forward.

Others? Pure friction. Every conversation is a struggle. Every project feels harder than it should be. You leave meetings exhausted and nothing's been resolved.

The standard explanation is that some people are just difficult. They're resistant to change. They overthink. They're too rigid, too impulsive, too political, or too skeptical.

But here's what decades of research into decision-making psychology reveals: people make decisions in fundamentally different ways. How they weigh information. How they assess risk. What gives them confidence. What makes them hesitate.

When your decision-making style clashes with someone else's, it creates a specific kind of professional hell: you both think you're being reasonable, and you both think the other person is the problem.

You think they're being obstructive. They think you're being careless.

You think they're overthinking. They think you're being superficial.

You think they're avoiding accountability. They think you're being controlling.

Both interpretations feel true. Neither is fully accurate.

And this is exactly what makes difficult people difficult: they're operating from a decision-making pattern that clashes with yours, and neither of you realizes it's even happening.

Understanding How People Make Decisions (Your Secret Decoder Ring)

Here's something important: having a particular decision-making style doesn't make someone difficult.

Difficult people are difficult because of insecurity, ego, lack of self-awareness, political games, perfectionism—the real stuff that makes work miserable.

But here's what can make a huge difference: understanding their decision-making pattern gives you a way to decode their behaviour and work around it more effectively.

Think of it like this: someone might be difficult because they're insecure. But if you also understand that they're a Guardian (cautious, risk-focused), you now know they'll dig in hardest when they feel exposed or uncertain. That's actionable intelligence.

Or maybe someone's difficult because they need to control everything. But if you recognise they're a Deliverer (structure-focused, detail-oriented), you know that giving them a clear framework might reduce their need to micromanage every detail.

The decision style isn't what makes them difficult. But it tells you how their difficulty will show up—and how to navigate around it.

Yes, some friction comes from simple style mismatches—an Achiever working with an Explorer will naturally create tension even when both people are reasonable. But the real power of understanding decision patterns is that it helps you work with genuinely difficult people more strategically.

It's your decoder ring for people and their Decision Profiles. This will allow you to fosuc on what their proritise rather than their difficult characteristics.

The 7 Decision Patterns (And How to Read Them)

Pattern 1: The Relentless Action-Taker

The friction: They want decisions yesterday, cut through your explanations with "what's the bottom line?", and commit before you're ready. Why it's difficult: Their speed feels reckless when you need time to think, and you're anxious about what's being missed. What's actually happening: They're Achievers—wired to prioritise outcomes and momentum. Analysis without action feels wasteful. They'd rather course-correct later than wait for certainty that might never come.

Pattern 2: The Risk-Aware Long-Term Thinker

The friction: They find problems with everything, want contingency plans for unlikely scenarios, and slow progress with constant "but what about..." questions. Why it's difficult: You're trying to move forward and they keep pulling everyone back into risk analysis that never ends. What's actually happening: They're Guardians—their decision process is built around preventing mistakes. The questions that frustrate you give them confidence. To them, your eagerness looks dangerously naive.

Pattern 3: The Eternal Explorer

The friction: They won't commit to anything, keep wanting to explore alternatives, and the conversation never closes. Why it's difficult: You need a clear decision and they keep everything in permanent exploration mode. What's actually happening: They're Explorers—they need to examine something from multiple angles before committing. Rushing them feels unsafe. Force them to decide prematurely and they'll never fully commit.

Pattern 4: Valuing people's experiences and insights

The friction: They can't decide without consulting half the organisation, turn straightforward choices into democratic exercises, and progress stalls while they gather input. Why it's difficult: You want efficiency and they're adding consultation layers you don't think are necessary. What's actually happening: They're Collaborators—their process requires considering impact on others and building buy-in. Making choices without input feels risky and potentially damaging to relationships.

Pattern 5: The Relentless Questioner

The friction: They challenge every assumption, want to see data sources, play devil's advocate, and interrogate ideas until you feel on trial. Why it's difficult: It feels adversarial, like they don't trust you or are looking for reasons to reject your ideas. What's actually happening: They're Analyzers—they build confidence through rigorous evaluation. Questions aren't attacks; they're intellectual engagement. If your logic survives scrutiny, they become your most reliable advocates.

Pattern 6: The Structure Enforcer

The friction: They need everything defined—clear timelines, specific roles, detailed deliverables—and get uncomfortable with ambiguity. Why it's difficult: Their need for structure feels rigid when you need flexibility, and they seem unable to work with uncertainty. What's actually happening: They're Deliverers—they need clarity before they can move confidently. Ambiguity creates genuine anxiety. What feels like rigidity to you is professional discipline to them.

Pattern 7: The Big Picture Obsessive

The friction: They want to debate strategy when you need to execute tactics, dismiss practical concerns as "not strategic," and expand scope when you need focus. Why it's difficult: You need to get things done and they keep zooming out to possibilities and implications. What's actually happening: They're Visionaries—they make decisions by connecting to larger patterns. Tactical details without strategic context feel meaningless or even dangerous.

How to Stop Fighting Their Difficult Traits and Start Working With Their Decision Style

Once you understand someone's decision pattern, you gain a practical advantage: you know how to frame your message, where to focus your energy, what to emphasise, and how to work around the difficult parts of who they are.

Their insecurity, ego, or political games might still be there—but by focusing on how they make decisions, you can often get what you need anyway. It's not the full answer to why they're difficult. But it's a tool that helps you navigate around the difficulty more effectively.

Being Smart About Working With Difficult People

The breakthrough isn't about making difficult people less difficult. They're still going to be difficult.

It's about being smarter in how you work with them.

This means speaking to how they make decisions instead of how you make decisions. Not because it excuses their behaviour. But because it's the practical path to actually getting work done.

Think of it this way: you can spend months being frustrated that someone won't operate the way you think they should. Or you can spend five minutes adjusting your approach to match their decision pattern and actually move forward.

One feels righteous. The other gets results.

Working with the Action-Taker (Achiever):

Stop doing this: Leading with background research and full context before getting to your point. Start doing this: Give them the bottom line in the first 30 seconds. "Here's what I think we should do and the result it'll get us. I can walk you through my thinking if that's helpful." Why it works: You're giving them what their brain needs—outcome and action—without forcing them through process they'll resist.

Working with the Risk-Aware Long-Term Thinker (Guardian):

Stop doing this: Leading with enthusiasm while downplaying risks, which makes them immediately skeptical. Start doing this: Acknowledge risks before they raise them. "I've thought about what could go wrong here, and here's how we're mitigating those risks." Why it works: You're addressing their primary concern upfront, so they can actually hear the rest of your proposal.

Working with the Eternal Explorer:

Stop doing this: Presenting a single solution and asking them to approve it. Start doing this: Give them structured exploration with boundaries. "I've been looking at a few approaches. I'd value your thinking on which makes most sense, and whether there's an angle I haven't considered. We need to decide by Friday." Why it works: You're honouring their need to explore while creating the closure they won't create themselves.

Working with Valuing people's experiences and insights (Collaborator):

Stop doing this: Asking them to make isolated decisions and getting frustrated when they won't. Start doing this: Help them get input efficiently. "Let's identify whose perspective actually matters here and get it by Tuesday. I can help facilitate those conversations." Why it works: You're working with their need for consultation rather than fighting it, while keeping it bounded.

Working with the Relentless Questioner (Analyzer):

Stop doing this: Getting defensive or asking them to "just trust you." Start doing this: Bring logic and data upfront, welcome scrutiny. "Here's my reasoning and the evidence I'm basing this on. I'd actually value you stress-testing this—tell me where you see holes." Why it works: You're inviting them to do what they're going to do anyway, but framing it as valuable contribution rather than obstruction.

Working with the Structure Enforcer (Deliverer):

Stop doing this: Keeping things conceptual and expecting them to be comfortable with ambiguity. Start doing this: Get specific about plan, timeline, and accountability. "Here's exactly what we'll do: By Tuesday, we'll complete X. On Thursday, Y happens. You'll own this part, I'll own that part." Why it works: You're giving them the clarity their brain needs to engage confidently.

Working with the Big Picture Obsessive (Visionary):

Stop doing this: Focusing only on immediate tactics without connecting to larger goals. Start doing this: Lead with strategy before diving into execution. "Here's how this fits into the bigger picture and what it enables next. The tactical execution looks like this..." Why it works: You're giving them the strategic context they need before they can engage with the details.

What This Actually Looks Like

Before: You're trying to get a stakeholder to approve a new initiative. You present your carefully researched proposal. They immediately start finding problems. You get defensive and try to counter their objections. They dig in harder. The meeting ends with no decision. You're convinced they're being unreasonably resistant.

After: You recognise they're a Guardian. You restructure your entire approach. You open with: "I want to walk you through the risks I've identified and how we're planning to mitigate them." You present your risk management strategy before you present the initiative. They visibly relax. They actually listen now. The conversation becomes collaborative instead of adversarial. You get approval in half the time.

Before: You're working with someone who won't commit to a direction. You keep asking "so what do you think we should do?" They keep saying "I'm still thinking about it." Weeks pass. Nothing moves. You're frustrated and they're feeling pressured.

After: You recognise they're an Explorer. You stop pushing for a decision and start asking different questions: "What aspects are you still uncertain about? What would help you feel more confident? What alternatives should we consider?" You give them structured processing space with a deadline. By removing the pressure while creating boundaries, the decision happens faster and they're actually committed to it.

Before: You're managing someone who seems to ignore your priorities. You assign work clearly, they nod in agreement, then do things completely differently. You feel disrespected. They feel micromanaged. The relationship deteriorates.

After: You recognise they're a Visionary. Instead of just assigning tasks, you explain how each piece of work connects to the broader strategic goals. You show them what this enables in the future. Suddenly they're engaged and proactive, because now they understand the why behind the what. The work gets done better than you imagined.

How Wize Snaps Makes This Actually Practical

Understanding decision patterns changes everything. But here's the challenge: in the middle of a difficult interaction, it's hard to step back and analyse what's happening.

You're frustrated. They're being difficult again. You're just trying to get work done, not conduct psychological analysis.

That's exactly why Wize Snaps exists.

It's built on our Decision Profile system—a framework that maps how people weigh information, assess risk, and build confidence in their choices. In seconds, it gives you practical insight into someone's decision-making pattern and shows you how to adjust your communication.

Before a tough meeting? Run a Snap. Stuck with a stakeholder who keeps blocking everything? Check their pattern first. Have a team member you can't seem to reach? Understand their decision style.

It shows you:

• How they likely approach decisions

• What they prioritise and what they'll ignore

• How to frame your message so it actually lands

• What to emphasise and what to minimise

• How to close the conversation productively

Does this make difficult people less difficult? No.

Does it make working with them smarter and more effective? Absolutely.

Because here's the truth: difficult people are difficult. That's not changing.

But you can get a lot smarter about how you work with them.

Smarter about which battles to fight and which to let go. Smarter about framing your message so it gets through. Smarter about protecting your energy while still getting results.

The conversations that used to drain you become manageable. The stakeholders who used to block you start saying yes. The team members who frustrated you become workable, if not pleasant.

You stop wasting time on approaches that were never going to work.

And you start getting the results you've been trying to create—not by changing them, but by being strategic about how you engage with them.

That's not about excusing difficult behaviour. It's about being smart enough to work around it.

Ready to work with difficult people more strategically? Try Wize Snaps and stop wasting energy on approaches that aren't working.